Sunday, April 01, 2007

Things that make ya go hmm...

When I was a toddler, I would take showers with my older brother sometimes, after the swimming pool. He was about the age that I am now. I was but a child, and when this started I had only seen one previous penis: my own. I remember thinking that my brother's flaccid penis was enormous. Compared to mine, it was like level four in Mario Brothers 3, or like when you see someone who has gained a lot of weight in a very short time. Around the same age I saw Baba's penis too, at a urinal: more of the same.

And then, for 21 years, nothing.

Now that circumstances have rendered my brother Beyoncéless, the two of us are spending a lot of quality time, doing what bachelors do. On Thursday night we went to a club, where he worked his trademark "Persian Jay-Z" game and macked me a hot-ass Chilean. On Friday, we went to the gym. They have a swimming pool at the gym.

I have often reflected on my childhood, and not without some consternation. But I comforted myself with the explanation that his penis only seemed so big because I was a little boy.

But seeing it again - after more than two decades - it still seemed impossibly large.

I try to keep in mind Paul Cezanne's celebrated aphorism: "You are your own harshest penis critic." But I'm sure I was not imagining things. We're not even talking the same ballpark...I don't even think they should both be called a penis.

All the penis feedback I've ever gotten has been positive: one girl I hooked up with in college told Burt that I had a, "beautiful cock." Another said it was the perfect color. At Yale I attended a lot of naked parties, I never felt too bad. I am so confused...I wish I could see Baba's penis again.

12 Comments:

At 12:54 AM, Blogger the actual rod said...

bravo.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Mr.Wrongway said...

word.

 
At 10:49 AM, Blogger Dan said...

I am going to start using that Cezanne aphorism

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Beneficent Allah said...

I have seen St. Victoire in all her glory, towering over the ancient empty streets of Aix de Provence.

 
At 6:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

BA your beautiful cock makes me go hmmm

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger Beneficent Allah said...

C'est gentil.

 
At 4:39 AM, Blogger The ACTUAL God said...

"I don't even think they should both be called a penis."

My favorite line in my favorite post. I'm glad you decided to blog this.

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Mr.Wrongway said...

peaches isn't who she seems to be

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger Mr.Wrongway said...

so now I'm just me?

 
At 12:56 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you know this aphorism ?
" I like your cock, but wash your dick"

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous mohammed said...

i like twat, she squash my prick

 
At 10:22 PM, Blogger Rich said...

genius

 

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